For those of you who have been to see the Rat City Rollergirls, the words flowing from my penni–pen will fail to capture what you have already witnessed. For those of you lacking the memorial sights and sounds of one of this season’s bouts, well, I can only hope my words will fill your mind’s-eye with the excitement of, as the ring announcer claimed, the fastest growing indoor sport, event or bloodletting in North America.
I took my brother along, because what guy doesn’t want to see girls in exciting, tight-fitting outfits jockey and jostle each other around an oval track? He assures me he cannot think of any. Add the kitsch of championship wrestling with the thrill of a five-on-five human demolition derby and you begin to scratch the surface of the evening’s festivities. With an all-access pass in hand, ‘cause that’s how I roll (get it …roll), I was on the floor at Key Arena just feet away from the participants as they raced around the track trying to amass more points than the other team. Let me give you the lowdown.
There were two bouts scheduled for the bout. Yeah, I know…what? The first bout was the Derby Liberation Front, with such illustrious names as Captain Kitty Kamakaze and Co-Captain Yoko Onoudi’nt (pronounced…hell, you get it) and teammates named Rumble Fist and Cassassin against Grave Danger lead by Captain Carmen Getsome and Co-Captain Sara Problem and assisted by the very able ReAnimateHer and Muffstache (I assure you, not a typo); the rest of both teams members’ names were equally as colorful.
The second bout: the Sockit Wenches (Captain Clobberin Mame; Co-Captain Rebel Belle) vs. Throttle Rockets (Captain Sirius Mischief; Co-Captain Fighty Almighty). The names of these players made me wonder if there was a random roller derby name generator floating out there on the internet. The scoring is bit vague to me, butsomebody’s keeping count, because the scoreboard kept changing. Does this sound exciting to you? Great, because you have four more chances to attend.
The next event is scheduled for Saturday, April 16 at Key Arena. Doors open at 4:30pm and opening ceremonies begin at 5:30pm. For more information, go to the Rat City Rollergirls website. The site has all the information you need; particularly interesting was the Hall of Pain photo section, which shows pictures of scrapes, bruises and stitches. Get out there and support the Rollergirls!