Rekindling an old flame may seem like an impossible task when your former partner appears to be done with you. But you’d be surprised how good exes can be at concealing their emotions behind a cold-hearted barrier. It’s likely that they had once been hurt by you, and they’re only doing their best to prevent it from happening a second time. However, that doesn’t mean that they no longer have any feelings for you.
If you’ve been trying to get your ex’s attention to no avail, try these methods instead.
Give them space
Don’t message your ex just a few days after the two of you have broken up. You need to let matters simmer down, and wait until your ex is not as angry with you anymore to avoid any clash. When you give your ex-partner some space, this allows them to process their emotions while they’re away from you. Eventually, this will make them miss you and will make the next step easier.
Start a casual conversation
If you’ve been desperately waiting for your ex to come through to you without making the first approach, it’s a good idea to start the conversation if it’s been a good few weeks. It doesn’t have to be some desperate call for attention; make it casual without seeming like you’re trying too hard to keep your cool. Ask them how they have been doing, and see how they react to your message. If they try too hard to keep the conversation terse, this likely means that they’re still upset with you. This might seem like a bad sign, but it’s only an indicator that they still have feelings for you.
Make them jealous
While this is not remotely as subtle as the previous steps, it’s pretty much a surefire way to get your ex to remember how deeply they cared for you. If you’re unsure of exactly how to make your ex jealous, it’s pretty much as simple as spending days or weeks without approaching them first, and pretending you’re more cheerful than you usually are. These techniques will give your ex the impression that someone else is more valuable of your time. If they eventually ask you about your relationship status, this is your sign that the plan has worked, and that they’re still into you.
Stop bringing them up on social media
If you’ve been making vague posts on social media aimed at them, it’s time for you to stop. Trying to get your ex’s attention by referring to your former relationship on social media will only give your ex the impression that you’re still around, and will continue to be whenever they decide that they want you back. You need to do the exact opposite. Try to come off as if you’ve already moved on, and never bring them up to your friends or on social media. This will urge them to approach you so they can test the waters and see if you’re still interested.
Ask them out for a casual lunch
After it’s been a while since your last conversation, you can very subtly ask them out for coffee or lunch. Try to make it seem as platonic as possible and never make a move when you see them. If the last time that the two of you have talked ended up with an argument, you can use this as an excuse to clear the air. If your ex turns down the offer or says that they’re too busy, give them space. If they still have feelings for you, it’ll only be a few days before they get back to you.
Allow them to lead the connection
After you’ve asked them out the first time, give them the time to process everything you talked about that day. Expect them to keep their distance for a few days after meeting you. It’s not because you’ve said something wrong, but because they’re taking the time to reconsider getting back with you. If they successfully contact you afterward, let them lead the way this time. Remember to let matters take their course and never rush your way into another relationship.
Getting your ex’s attention is quite simple when they still care for you. Even if they appear to have moved on, trying these steps to get their attention is still worth a shot. Make sure you never wait for too long, as they are more likely to lose interest the longer you wait to get their attention. And while your ex-partner might appreciate honesty, you need to make sure you pick the right time to reveal your feelings for them to avoid getting yourself hurt.