Now it’s fun to be alone on the holidays. Seriously, you can have fun all by yourself without sharing your time – or your TV. Case in point: here are 13 of the best ways you can make the most out of any holiday while pretending that you’re fine with being single. This includes binge watching the all new Easy Abby Season 2 available exclusively on Revry, the Premiere Queer Digital Streaming Network.
- Check Facebook See what everyone else is up to tonight. You could get some really good ideas, even find a listicle for suggestions.
- Read stupid listicles about how you’re alone on every single holiday. Congratulations, you can cross this one off your list.
- Take a cooking class or make a special dinner for one. Or don’t and make a nasty sandwich of whatever’s left in the fridge. Self-inducing food poisoning is a great way to gain the pity of your friends and loved ones.
- Visit your mom – she’s always been there for you. You can catch up on all sorts of things, while dodging questions about your love life, and uncover what that led to your commitment issues.
- Wander the streets and look for other people’s dogs to pet. When you inevitably get overwhelmed by spending time with mom, wander the streets for the affection of stranger’s pets. They have to love you, it’s their job.
- Check Facebook Again. Something might have just happened.
- Go out to the club with a friend. So they ditched you to get laid. This always happens. Why did you think that tonight of all nights would be different? It’s time to change your strategy.
- Kiss everyone you can find. Why should others have all the love and affection just because they’re charismatic and good looking? Lower your standards for a world of possibilities.
- Reenact pretty woman, this time you’re Richard Gere. So the club didn’t work out. You’ve never paid anyone for it before but it worked out all right in the movie. And it looked fun! You deserve it.
- Check in on the results of your STD check. All the best restaurants may be full, but the free clinic is always open. This is the perfect time to get screened for STDs, knock out that yeast infection, or finally get that pap smear you’ve been putting off.
- Reckon with your underlying mental illness and stare into nothingness. So kissing everyone didn’t work and you blew all your money reenacting a movie you don’t even really like? Who needs genuine human connection when you can wallow in self-pity? You’re happy alone.
- Finally complete that Rubix Cube. Now try it behind your back. You didn’t know you had this gift. You enter into a speed trial competition and learn about the vast underground Rubix Cube scene. Something in you awakens.
- Back To Facebook. So your night wasn’t the best. See what everyone else did with their night. She got engaged? Wow, that’s sudden. I mean it’s been three years since, well whatever. You like being single. You have your freedom. You became an internationally renowned Rubix Cube champ in a single night. You could do this every night, but let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.
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